From
Self-Destruction
To The Reconstruction

Of Self:

My Path To

Redemption

By,

Kijana Tashiri Askari
 
3

“Prisons do not disappear problems, they disappear
human beings.” ~ Angela Davis

I've been in prison for the past 20 years, 17 of which
has been consecutively spent in the Security Housing
Unit (e.g. “The SHU.”) which is a euphemism for
solitary confinement. However, 20 years prior to my
current incarceration, | had also served previous stints
in prison, amidst several stints in & out of Juvenile Hall
and the California Youth Authority (C.Y.A.).

Essentially, a Brotha had embarked upon a path of
self-destruction, through the multitude of crimes that |
was committing in the community, which were largely
against the people of the community and their property.
But it wasn't until the year of 1991 / 1992, while a
Brotha was housed in Administrative Segregation (e.g.
“Solitary Confinement”) for a manufacturing weapons
charge, is when | finally has a serious talk with myself
and said:

 

“Self, what is wrong with this picture? Because,
here we are, with the gearshift stuck in neutral and
we're not making any real progress with regards to
doing or achieving anything of real significance with
our lives. And from the look of things, matters will not
be getting any better, no time soon.”

For, I was no longer armed with the ability to act
upon my negative emotional impulses, seeing as my
physical being had been restricted in practically every
‘extreme, due to one's isolated confines. So, during the
course of introspection, I had to honestly ask:

“Self - what benefit, if any, would we have in
continuing down this path of self-destruction?”
As the solace of my solitude has now enabled me to
realize, that my self-destructive ways were only
creating a negative burden upon myself, from the
perspective of, harming & preying upon the
communities via committing acts of senseless crime /
violence in the community, that perpetuated a “domino
effect” upon the people and their families within our
community. Because, up until that point in my life, |
had lacked a complete and true understanding that
prisons were an extension of every poor community
within the free societies of the world.

But what actually formulates the construct of a
community? A community is defined as:

“A social group of any size whose members reside in
a specific locality, share government, and often have a
common political background, and/or a cultural and
historical heritage.”

So, it was right there, during the year of 1991/1992,
where I said:

“Self, we cannot live like this anymore, as ! know
has got to have more to offer, than all of the
jes that we have experienced / endured, thus

  

Hence, the origins of my path to redemption via the
reconstruction of my self-destructive ways, as I've now
caught a glimpse of my true humanity. How to go about
this redemption process was a whole different story in
and of itself. So | had to first find out, what does
redemption mean? So that | could constitute the
application of redemption within my day to day
endeavors, to thus manifest a concrete example of
redemption.
 
Redemption is defined as: b

“The salvation of and the atonement for guilt; to
make amends for; to make up for.”

Being that it was |, as an individual, who was literally
terrorizing the community and the people who lived in
them, the path to redemption had to start & begin with
me, from the perspective of community healing,
building & restoration. Meaning, | had to seriously
change my attitude, values and the way I thought about
and viewed matters, to thus, effectuate change in my
behavior, as it pertains to being a productive member of
the community.

Shortly thereafter, | was then released from
administrative segregation and was placed back onto
the general population maintine at New Folsom State
Prison, where my path to redemption continued. It
didn’t take long for my captors and their crew of
counter-intelligence agents, to now recognize my
political transition into a revolutionary, albeit | was still
in the embryo stage of development. Nonetheless, in
August of 1994, as a Brotha was commemorating my
ancestors historical legacy of struggle against U.S.
imperialism, | was abducted from the maintine, under
the facade of me organizing prisoners to commit a
physical assault upon unidentified prisoners. This
subsequently lead me to being relegated to
indeterminate S.H.U. status, as an alleged “prison gang
member.”

‘Once | was sent to the S.H.U., my path to
redemption continued, via the ongoing transformation
of, uprooting the negative weeds of self-destruction
that had been planted in my mind and thus, my actions.
Hence, it was also necessary for me to start re-
harvesting my mind with a crop of new ideas. Because,
truthfully speaking, you are what you think & believe
in, So | began to study & read, any & all books, 7
newspapers, magazines, etc. that | could get my hands
on,

In solitary confinement, we're not provided with any
community-based material resources, so | made it my
business to constructively utilize any & all community
contacts that | had - such as family & friends to send me
money for canteen. | would make the necessary
sacrifices by not putting in for a full canteen draw, so
that I would always have some money to buy books,
newspapers or magazines with. Or, | would ask my
family & friends to use a portion of the money which
they intended to send me, to instead, buy me some
reading materials, so as to keep my mind stimulated
with new & positive ideas. Because, it didn’t take long
before | realized that access to information is the
crucible that sustains / nurtures our humanity, and thus
‘empowers us as individuals. Knowledge is power!

Hence, my humanity was further redeemed /
restored, as | elevated my state of consciousness,
through the reading of books like:

ATaste of Power, by Elaine Brown.
‘Women, Race & Class, by Angela Davis.

The Spirit of Man, by lyanla Vanzant.

The Philosophy & Opinions of Marcus Garvey, by Amy
Jacques Garvey.

‘The Destruction of Black Civilization, by Naim Akbar.

The African Origin of Civilization, by Cheikh A. Diop.
The Mis-Education of the Negro, by Carter G. Woodson.

Black Men: Obsolete, Single, Dangerous, by Haki R.
Madhubutt.
Wretched of the Earth, by Frantz Fanon.

This is just to name a few. These beautiful New
Afrikan Black Sistas / Brothas, shined a ray of light on
the historical materialism, as to the atrocities that the
U.S. imperialists were committing and continue to
commit against the nation of New Afrikan Black People.
 
 
This only reaffirmed my commitment in serving and
aiding all oppressed people.

Pusuant to penal code sections 2600 && 2601, us
prisoners are allowed to share reading materials with
one another and | would encourage this practice, as it
gives you access to more positive information and
allows you to build upon a sense of community in your
locality. In addition, it provides the possibility of
sharing & developing positive ideas with each other
from this practice. Also, the newspapers & magazines
gave me another medium, as to how to stay connected
to the community, to thus negate my tsolation caused by
being held in solitary confinement (e.g. “The S.H.U.”)
For, the newspapers & magazines contain information
and addresses about various community resources,
events, organizations & programs that | was now able to
reach out to and get involved with.

Through initiating & developing the necessary
discipline, character & resolve to remain steadfast &
committed to the practice of studying & reading any &
all books, newspapers, magazines, etc. that I could get
my hands on, I was then able to discover a new found
ability to write about all of the things | had been
reading & studying. In other words, one constructive
outlet created another medium for me to not only
sustain my humanity, but to also express my humanity,
while relegated to indefinite solitary confinement
status. And, before you knew it, I no longer had the
time nor the desire to either think, act or behave in a
negative & self-destructive manner. My thoughts were
& remain focused on the positive reconstruction of self,
via my path to redemption.

There is a positive to every negative, but the
individual just has to take the time to identify the
positive, in every perceived negative situation, because
the negative only exists when you allow it to. You
always have the option of turning sour lemons into
lemonade, by disciplining yourself to the practice of
reading, writing & studying, as it gives you a real
purpose & allows you to use your inner creativity. It
defines your faith in self so that you can become a
better person in the interest of the community, as every
process of change starts with the individual & thus the
community. It also gives you a new self-determination
that would enable you to help save / rebuild our
communities, that we once took part in terrorizing
through our self-destructive ways. It also provides you
with several additional principle variables of character
building, which you may not have been aware of, prior
to this transition.

Our struggle for New Afrikan Black Liberation must
be defined & constructed under qualitatively developed
principles that will ensure / sustain our propagated
existence as a nation of New Afrikan Black People that
are struggling for real freedom!!

Here is a core listing of principles that we must
continue to build upon and utilize as our guide so that
our ultimate goal of real freedom fs achieved:

Our goal is to unify ourselves politically, socially,
culturally, economically, etc. and to maintain unity from
this perspective, through the reconstruction of our
family and community values.

‘Our self-determination is our ability to define our
propagated existence for the sole purpose of redeeming
ourselves and thus our communities.

Our goal is to establish a model of collective work &
responsibility in our communities, by functioning as a
collective body with one voice, and to thus make the
problems of each Sista / Brotha in our community, our
problem, so that we can work together as a community
by finding . Developing community-based solutions for
‘our own problems.

Our goal as a community is to establish a functional
model of cooperative economies which entails pooling
Ie

‘our resources together, so that we can build our own
institutions of business and thereby shop at & buy from
our own stores, food markets, etc.

Our purpose is to make our collective vocation the
building of our community, to restore our humanity
back to traditional greatness and to create a social
climate where each member of the community can
consciously contribute to the rebuilding of our
community.

Our inner creativity is to do as much as we can to
leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than
we inherited it, which will test and enhance our
creativity.

Our faith is to believe with our hearts, that our
every action will be a manifestation of righteousness,
which will be guided by our humanity and love for the
People in our community.

Here are a few questions to test and advance your
understanding on the materialism of what you just read
in this pamphlet. There are no right or wrong answers
to these questions, as freedom is a constant struggle!!

1.) What does unity mean to you?

2.) What have you determined yourself to do or
become?

What does community mean to you?

What does redemption mean to you?

How can you redeem yourself for the sake of
redeeming your community?

What is your purpose in life?

Who or what do you have faith in?

Have you identified your inner creative self yet?

vay

Sue
 
For additional reading of my pamphlets, initiatives,
etc. you may write to: "

Attention: South Chicago ABC Zine Distro
c/o Anthony Rayson

P.O. Box 721

Homewood, IL 60430

Ask for the following pamphlets, initiatives, etc.
The series - volumes 1 thru 4
Evidence of Corruption, Genocide & Neo-Colonialism
The New Afrikan Anti-Alcohol Initiative 101
New Afrikan Physical ss 101
The New Afrikan Domestic Crisis Intervention
Initiative.

 

Chief Facilitators & Supporters
Chief Administrator
Ms. Hannah Bastienne

\yspace.com/dare2struggle

Midwest Regional Facilitator / Coordinator
c/o Mr. Anthony rayson

P.O. Box 724

Homewood, IL 60430

Southern California Facilitator / Coordinator
Attention: Univ. of Calif. Riverside

c/o Mr. Dylan Rodriguez

Ethnic Studies Dept. #3602 - HMNSS
Riverside, Calif. 92521

Northern California Facilitator / Coordinator
Attention: Legal Services for Prisoners With Children
c/o Ms. Carol Strickman

1540 Market Street suite #490

San Francisco, Calif. 94102
 
 

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Xana Tan assur

 

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